PDP Exclusives by Rebecca

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Off Cpap!

I got to the hospital yesterday and Miss Addisyn was off the Cpap. When I walked in the room, I noticed that the room was much quieter than it was the day before, which is the tell-tale sign for Cpap for me. I looked at her Cpap machine and it was turned off, then I looked at the O2 bottle and it was bottling. She was on 1 lt of flow and 34% when I walked in which is wonderful for her. I also walked into another surprise. She was wearing her Christmas shirt that says "Is it too late to be good". I bought that for her because they always say she is being naughty. I held her forever yesterday. She just seemed so content that I couldn't put her down. I think I finally left around 8 pm last night and I held her the whole time. A conversation came up the other day while I was in the hospital with her. It was either the LC or Chaplain stating how hard it must be. I have to admit that it is hard, but when I look at her, I think of my gandmother's babies that never made it and all of the other babies who never even got this chance. She may be early, she may be living in the hospital, but she made it here and is going to be Ok. She shouldn't have made it this far, but she did. So many people are not as lucky as we are.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Back on Cpap

Well, Addisyn put up a good fight for the past 2 weeks with her cannula trying to be a big girl, but today she told everyone she needed a little extra help. They did a chest X-ray and it was very cloudy. Her lung sacs were closing and she was starting to shut down. She was desating quite a bit last night to the point where she needed to be bagged. I was pretty bummed for a few minutes, but she seemed so comfortable on the CPAP. Her breathing wasn't labored, her little nose was getting a break from the high flow and she was finally satting high on low oxygen. Her sats were in the high to mid 90's and her oxygen was at 25% when I left. On the cannula, it was usually around 40% and she would desat quickly. The last time she had a setback, she went back to the vent for a few days, but after they put her back on CPAP, she was smooth sailing and went to the cannula after 2 days. I am hoping this extra help will help her progress faster when she graduates back to the cannula. I am also hoping that the CPAP doesn't interfere with her feeds like it did last time. She was also given meds for reflux (reglan). When the dr said he was going to give her Reglan, it sounded like rideline. He said the rideline is for him.

Addisyn Grace

Welcome to Addisyn's new blog! I started a caringbridge site for her, but I want her to have a place that isn't just for sick kids. I don't want people to see her as a sick baby, because to me, she is everything but. Addisyn is just a baby that was born a little too soon.

Addisyn's story starts November 1, 2007. It is funny how dates like this stick in my head. That is the day we decided that we wanted another child, and our family was not complete. It took a long 5 months until we found out I was pregnant, but every month was worth it. I found out I was pregnant on tax day, April 15. Sarcastically, I said that if I were to get pregnant, it would be that month because her due date would be Christmas. Sure enough, I did get pregnant and the baby's due date was Christmas Day. I was excited, but nervous. It had been so long since I was pregnant and so much has changed through the years. Everything was going fine until the day after I turned 6 weeks pregnant, on a friday. I had my first OB appt, the day before and on Friday I started having some spotting. Of course everything seems to happen on a Friday. The spotting became heavier throughout the day, but I believed it was from the exam the day before. After quite a few worrisome hours, I called the dr's after hours line. He called back very quickly and told me that the bleeding is normal. It could be from the exam or it could be a sign of an early miscarriage. He told me that if I had pain or soaked 2 or more pads in an ohurs to go to the ER. I did have some cramping and he said cramping is normal in early pregnancy.

The next day, both kids had a soccer game. Chuck went to the field early to help set up. I brought the kids for their games and we were sitting at the picnic table next to Robby's soccer coach. At this time, it seemed that the bleeding had stopped when all of the sudden I felt a gush. I ran to the bathroom and I had a lot of almost purple colored blood. I told Chuck that I had to go and what was going on. I took myself home to change and then I went by myself to the ER. I wanted to go alone, and I didn't want to take the kids from their soccer games. I had an ultrasound. The tech showed me the baby and heartbeat. I was relieved, however my relief was short-lived. The dr came in and said the results did not look good. There was blood behind the gestational sac and the heartbeat was very slow at 90 beats per minute. He said he had seen this go either way, but for now it didn't look good. He told me to follow up with my dr on Monday. This weekend was much longer than any weekend I had ever experienced. I then knew my baby was a girl and her name was to be Addisyn Grace. I wanted her more than anything, regardless of what difficulties lie ahead.
On Monday, I went to the Dr. He did an ultrasound and showed me what seemed to be an abnormal sac. He said he was 99% sure I was miscarrying. He didn't order bloodwork and told me that he didn't want to do a D&C because it could cause unessesary scaring. He informed me that if we wanted, we could try again right away. I went home and waited to miscarry. My bleeding was sporatic, but not like he said it would be. I went to the gym and worked out with a trainer. I was winded easy and felt like I always did when I worked out when I was pregnant. On Wednesday, I went back to work and called the office. I told them that I was diagnosed with a miscarriage, but nothing was happening. They asked me to come in. I saw the Nurse Practitioner that day and she ordered the bloodwork and another ultrasound. She said she was leaning towards miscarriage, but not by a lot. I walked over to the lab and had my blood drawn and waited a week for my ultrasound. My pregnancy symptoms intensified. My breasts hurt and my abdomen was sore. I was tired and I didn't want to eat. I received a call from the office stating my hormone levels were going up like they should and to follow up with my U/S. I didn't get my hopes up because I knew that if I had something like a blighted ovum, my levels could continue to rise.
It is the following Thursday and I return for my follow up ultrasound. I was so nervous that the only thing that calmed me down was classical music. I didn't want to know the result of the ultrasound because I knew that this would be the final result. I had hopes I was still pregnant, and I felt that hopeing I was still pregnant was better than finding out I wasn't. The tech started the U/S and almost immediately I was this little bean with a flicker. She pointed to it and said there is the baby and heartbeat. The heartbeat was a healthy 168 beats per minute. I went to follow up with the NP and she said the ultrasound showed a healthy baby and gestational sac. And then she continued to show the the "other" gestational sac. She said I was pregnant with twins, but one stopped developing around 5 weeks. She said the baby was hiding behind the sac when the dr did the ultrasound and that was why he diagnosed me with a miscarriage. I was so excited and relieved, but mourned the loss of the baby I will never meet. I could not believe that for nearly 2 weeks that I knew I was pregnant, I was pregnant with twins. She also said I had a subchorionic hemmorage and I may see some additional bleeding and not to worry.
Everything was fine for the next 7 weeks until I got a call from my dr that my first trimester screen was abnormal, indicating a 10% chance that my baby would have Downs Syndrome. He referred me to a specialist for a level 2 ultrasound. He said that I would speak to a genetic counselor and depending on what I would do with the results, said they would offer an amnio. They wouldn't do the ultrasound for about 2 weeks because the baby needed to be big enough to measure. It did give me time to research and decide if I wanted an amnio or not. I decided that I did not want to risk miscarriage and since termination was not an option for me, so I opted out of the Amnio. I had the ultrasound on our 9th weeding anniversary. Big brother Robby got to go because he was suspended from summer camp because of something stupid. Daddy met us there and I was nervous, but not as nervous as before. The ultrasound was amazing. We were able to see the baby's brain, heart, limbs, fingers, toes and found out she had girl parts! The dr told us that there were no markers for downs, but the nasal bone was a little small so she was going to leave the risk at 10%, but the final report ended up with a 3.7%. My Dr said he would monitor me closely as the pregnancy progressed because the protien that was low on the first trimester screen put me at risk for growth restriction, preterm labor and stillborn.

The pregnancy was going great. We were preparing for the Addisyn. I was eating as well as I could and taking my vitamins. Soccer was keeping us busy and everything was routine. Addisyn was the most active baby I was ever pregnant with. I felt her move so early and her kicks were so strong. Surprisingly, I was measuring 4 weeks larger than I was. I even gained about 30 lbs. Ouch!

Everything changed on October 5. I was having some brown spotting and I wasn't feeling very well. I was in California for my drill weekend and thought it was the lack of sleep and being busy. It was supposed to be my last UTA before the baby. The kids had a soccer tournament so when I flew back on Sunday, I met Chuck at the park for some Carne Asada. I was tired and I wasn't feeling well, but thought it was from working and flying. I went to work the next day and was feeling great, but not too bad. Still had the spotting, but I knew that wasn't abnormal for the third trimester. On tuesday, I was feeling worse. I was having a lot of contractions. I had a dr's appt, so I wasn't too worried, but I should have known better. I was having the same symptoms I had when I went in labor with my Robby, but I was being stubborn. I always had a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions anyway. I went to my 28 week U/S. I had a hard time enjoying it because I was feeling so bad. I went in to see my dr after the U/S. The front desk said he was running late because he was at the hospital and was on his way. She said that they were back and forth from the hospital to the office all day. I told him I wasn't feeling well and having contractions. He looked at my U/S and said my cervix was still long and wasn't concerned. I was feeling better, so I wasn't so concerned either. Later in the day, the contractions seemed come more regular. I figured it had been a busy week and I needed to rest. I asked Chuck to stay home from the soccer meeting so he could get the kids to bed. He was annoyed, but he stayed home. I was just feeling that something wasn't right, but I didn't tell him that. I have a pretty large degree of stobborness myself. I went home and took a bath but things didn't seem to be getting better. I laid down in bed and the contractions seemed to get worse, so I decided I would sit up for a while and then call the dr. Just as I was getting ready to call the dr, I felt a gush like my water broke. I told Chuck and he told me to get up and then told me that it wasn't water. I looked down and I was gushing blood. I then ran to the bathroom to change my clothes. I grabbed whatever I could find which was a paid of pajama pants. He called my mom and told Alyssa to stay put until grandma got there. Luckily she lives so close. We called the dr on the way. I told him we were going to Mercy Gilbert, but he told me to go to Chandler Regional instead because they can do more at 28 weeks. We made it from home to Chandler in about 15 minutes, which is normally a 45 minute drive. I started to have strong regular contractions and they hurt! We walked into the waiting room and they brought me right into triage. There were people waiting and ahead of me. My dr had already called the hospital to tell them we were coming and he arrived about 5 minutes later. When I got there, the first thing they did was locate the baby's hearbeat. When I layed down, I didn't feel the contractions, but the nurse told the dr that I was contracting. He checked me and I was 3 cm dialated and 75% effaced. The nurse asked the dr if he wanted an ultrasound and he said no. He then told me that I was abrupting and he wanted to deliver the baby. He said the baby looked fine for now and I could deliver vaginally, however he felt that a c-section would be best. He quickly explanined the risks of miscarriage. The nurses gave Chuck some scrubs to change into and they gave me this nasty stuff to drink. they were poking my arms and Chuck was filling out the admin paperwork. They helped me change into a hospital gown and the Nurse Practitioner Kevin, from the nursery came to talk to us. He was the one that would work on the baby once she was delivered. He said she would look just like a baby, but smaller and that he would take good care of her. They wheeled me into the OR and made Chuck stay outside. Janice, the midwife from the office introduced herself and said she would be assisting my dr with the C-section. I was then put under general anesthesia while they surgically removed my child from my body- 12 weeks early. I awoke what seemed to be moments later and realized the lights were different and that I was back in triage where I started in so much pain. A nurse started asking me questions. There were a few people in the "room". I was afraid to ask about the baby because I didn't know what the answer would be. A nurse said congratulations, so at that point I knew she was alive, however was congratulations really the right word when you have a child 12 weeks too soon? Chuck came in a few minutes later with his phone and pictures of the baby. It was about 11 at night. He had already sent the pictures to everyone on the soccer board. He put the baby's picture on my phone and I slept on and off that night with some pretty good meds. The next day around lunch time, they brought me to see the baby. She was on a ventilator, but doing well. She was in an isollette incubator thing. She was so tiny and still. I felt so bad for her that she had to be born so soon with that tube down her throat. We weren't supposed to be in the hospital that day. She was a good size for a 28 weeker; 3 lbs 3.7 oz and 16.5" long. This baby has been a fighter since the day she was conceived and is meant to be here with us. It is going to be a long road, but I know she will come home to be with us, hopefully soon.